Sarah V. Nile: A Draw

I had the intention of conquering the Nile this weekend, but after 3
days of adventures getting to Jinja, rafting the Nile, making endless
puns about the Nile/denial, returning to Masaka and still, after 3
days, coughing up the Nile River, I concede a draw.
The day I went rafting had an inauspicious start. Our bus was so late
that we didn't have adequate time for a full safety briefing. Our
guide, Charles the Prince of the Nile (not Prince of Denial. The joke
really, really does not translate between English and Luganda), began
our session with the following: "Okay, so we have no time for safety
briefing. So we will learn as we go, yes? Yes." Our first rapid was a
Cat3, then a Cat5 and then….well, I speak enough Luganda to recognize
certain words. So when Charles stared at our raft and then shouted
Luganda gibberish and the word kwabaka, I was incredibly concerned.
Tesia, Zach, Jenny and myself shared a Look.
Kwabaka: Luganda for to burst or explode.
Our boat was punctured when we hit the rocks on a Category 3 and
Prince bluntly told us the raft would not survive the next Category 5.
His bluntness, Ugandan sense of humor, lack of concern for our nerves
would cause problems throughout the day but I was definitely somewhat
concerned with our imminently capsizing raft. We got out and carried
the raft for a bit until we met the replacement. So a sunken raft
started the day.
Prince motivated us through fear and used his authority to terrify us
all day. Examples? During lunch break, we removed our lifevests and
helmets to float in calm water. Suddenly, Prince jumps up. "QUICK
EVERYBODY LIFEVESTS ON, GET DOWN GET DOWN GET DOWN WE ARE GOING TO
DIE." We immediately drop everything and cower for our lives. No
rapid. Calm water. Example 2: Zach jumps off the raft during a calm
stretch to swim. Mid-jump, Prince yells "NO! DON'T! THE CROCIDILES!"
No crocodiles.
"Prince, what happens if we swim right instead of left in this rapid?"
Laughter. "Then we can't save you, see you in Egypt."
The worst joke by far was that it was his second day as a guide. He
had us all going with this one until he slipped by mentioning he had
been a guide for over 5 years. By the end of the day, Prince proposed
to me and I accepted, attracted by the title of Princess of the Nile.
Prince has offered 50 cows or the cash equivilant to my father. I told
him my father would probably prefer the cash (2.5 million shilling!),
but he'd have to negotiate the details with my very American father.
So this situation is pending.

I do owe Prince an enormous debt of gratitude. When we faced
Silverback, the biggest and strongest Cat5, I panicked. Silverback is
over 150 meters of double category 5 rapids colliding in deep water,
surrounded by jagged rocks. You can only see the white caps of the
rapids. Before the first drop, we were all regarding the intensity
before and I just started screaming. There were only two sounds: the
rush of the rapids and my terrified shrieks. I'm ashamed to admit that
I abandoned my post and ducked for cover, gripping the safety rope and
quaking with fear instead of paddling like a team player. Prince had
no sympathy for me.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PADDLE! PADDLE NOW, YOU SCARED MZUNGU!"
The "scared mzungu" comment snapped me out of terror and I picked up
my paddle and managed to stay on the raft and paddle. Of course, when
we finished navigating Silverback, we realized we had lost one of our
rafters and had some random guy on our boat, but we quickly did an
exchange and found her.
There were so many awesome and terrifying moments: when we rafted
Bujogali Falls, I misinterpreted "DUCK AND COVER, GET DOWN GET DOWN
GET DOWN" for "Wow, this is a gorgeous waterfall. Look around! Absorb
the moment!" and for that, I got an awesome shiner from smacking my
face into an oar. My position at the back of the raft meant I spent a
lot of time flying into the air from the impact of waves. At The Bad
Place, I sailed right out of the raft, over the top of the raft and
somehow landed in front. The Bad Place starts as a Cat6, so we had to
carry the raft over that and then relaunch into a Cat5. So I was
petrified that I was going to drift back into the Cat6 or over to the
falls: I managed to grip the front of the raft and Jenny summoned
inhuman strength and hauled me over the front while steering through a
Category 5.
But despite a minor sprain and a dozen bumps and bruises, I had an
awesome time and I think I'm going again in two weeks.